The End of the Beginning

December. What a perfect time to talk about endings, or beginnings, or the ending of a beginning? Maybe I’ll make sense at some point in this ;P

As I shared over the summer, I am a part of a Native American tribe, and receive some funding each semester for my college classes. I also am required to write an essay every semester. As I wrote that essay for my upcoming spring semester, I realized, this will be the end of the beginning of my college education. But as I continued to write, I realized this season of life is the end of the beginning of even more.

This past semester has been filled with so much learning for me. From learning to accept my anxiety and depression, to learning to balance school and work, to learning how to give myself time, to learning how to run and eat well and care for my body as a whole. But none of these things is like learning to ride a bike, none of them are a learn it once and you’ve got it type thing.

Rather, they are all things I must learn to do daily. On days where the fog of depression and weight of anxiety are heavy, I must once again learn to accept and love my brain. On days when I miss an assignment or feel like things could have gone better at work, I have to learn how to accept the mistake or flat out failure and think of a way to improve the next time around. Every day I have to learn where to take a minute or seventy for myself. Most days I even have to learn how to make time for a healthy meal or snack!

But all that learning aside, I know I am getting into some routines. They do, and always will have room for improvement. But they are forming, and that beginning phase is coming to an end.

Have you ever had a moment like that? Where you were doing one thing, then another happened, and suddenly you recognize six months worth of growth?

Because it’s wonderful. It’s so up lifting. And if you haven’t, I wish that some day you do. I wish that some day, you get to see all the work you put in amount to even a little something. Because I guarantee you it does!

Looking forward to the last month of December with you all!

❤ that one girl


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